Mommy Panda Blog

I may not be super crunchy, but I'm no softie either!

Tiny Swag, FabKids Edition, August

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I’m sneaking in at the last minute with The Munchkin’s August FabKids outfit, but it works out for you, because this weekend only, all new members get 75% off their 1st outfit + free shipping!!! If you haven’t joined, now is an awesome time to do it! That is a crazy good deal on already inexpensive outfits! Click here if you want to sign up.

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It is still sooo hot here, and if The Munchkin wasn’t actually already back in school, I’d find it hard to imagine “back to school time” or fall in general… but, here we are. I’m talking it’s already in the seventies when we wake up, ugh. My inside pictures turned out pretty crappy, so when I woke up this morning and it was sixty-six degrees out, I was pretty excited. After breakfast, I got the boys dressed and we went outside to take some photos. Of course, by the time the photoshoot was done, it was already seventy-five degrees out, so these pieces will have to hang out in the closet for a little longer…

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The Munchkin actually picked this outfit out himself, and he love love loves the top. Even though it’s been in the higher eighties for most of the day, he still insists on wearing it. All day. Ha, the kid likes what he likes. What can I say? After a couple of errands and garage sales this morning, we’ve just been in the house all day so whatever.

I thought these pants were going to be much longer on him (The Munchkin generally grows to the next size in the fall, so I bought the size up from what he wears now…) but they’re not that long. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure they fit true to 5Tish and all that, but GAH! My kiddo is getting so big! I’d probably only need to roll these under once, not even a couple times over, which is what I what I was expecting. SO TALL.

Raise your hand if you love FabKids!

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Outfit Details:
Hoodie tee & Cargo pants – c/o FabKids
Yo Gabba Gabba shoes – Vans, thrifted

Heads up: I got this outfit for free in exchange for writing this post, but all opinions and photos are my own. This post also contains affiliate links.

The Mommy Guilt is Real

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You know how I wrote that post a little while ago saying how much better The Munchkin was taking this separation from John compared to the last one? Yeah… I think I jinxed myself. The past three nights have been ROUGH you guys. We’ve gone through the routine as described in that aforementioned post, but it wasn’t enough. He would stall. And stall. And stall. Cuddles, water, another story, more hugs, more kisses, cuddles again. I wouldn’t give in to all of these, but I’ll always say yes to more hugs and kisses, and he gets up to two waters. I’d cuddle, but I’m not climbing up onto the top bunk. If he wants cuddles, he can sleep on the bottom bunk. Or go up to the top bunk after cuddles.

It all started one day, when he laid down in bed after dinner. I asked him if he wanted to go to bed, and he said “No, no go to bed!” so I figured he just needed a minute to decompress from the day or something. Nope. He fell asleep. With his underpants on. I was hopeful that he’d stay dry, but before I could even put a diaper on him, I could feel that he was already wet. Since he was clearly exhausted, I let him sleep. (Gross.) I figured he’d wake up soon, I’d wash his bedding, and he’d go to sleep in the top bunk. No big deal. I was wroooong. He slept past normal bedtime, which meant that I’d put The Bean to bed. I thought he might make it through the night. I was sitting on my computer, when I heard his door slam shut. I heard footsteps, and another door slam shut. That’s not a good sound. He doesn’t leave his room and then go back in it. My fears were confirmed as I heard The Bean start screaming. UGH WHY WOULD THE MUNCHKIN GO LOOKING FOR ME IN THE BEAN’S ROOM???? But he did, and I spent the next three hours trying to get the two of them to go back to sleep. I eventually just had to sit on the couch while holding The Bean until he went into a coma. I don’t even remember what I did to get The Munchkin to go to sleep, but I bet it had something to do with him sleeping in my bed.

Today, he was especially needy. He wanted cuddles while we had “quiet time” (aka Kindle time…) during The Bean’s nap. I obliged, and eventually fell asleep with my arms wrapped around him, and my head on his little shoulder. He smushed himself next to me as we watched a movie before bed. He asked for cuddles after bedtime stories, which I declined because of the top bunk issue. He asked for more water. More kisses, more hugs. I gave him those. Still, he refused to go to bed. He went into my bed to go to sleep. I said that was fine, but that I was going downstairs and would be up later. He said “ok” but was standing in the doorway or sitting at the top of the stairs before I knew it. We went back and forth about three times. Finally, I just screamed from the living room. “YOU NEED TO GO TO SLEEP!” He said something, but I couldn’t hear it. Probably that he needed more water, I don’t know. I told him that if he wanted to sleep in my bed, that it was fine, but that I needed to finish up what I was doing and then I would be up later. Except I said it in a super stern, mean mom voice.

What was I doing? Reading and commenting on blogs. Ugh, really self?

My little boy needed me. He needed me all day long. He is obviously struggling with LIFE right now, and I was ignoring his needs. He can’t walk past John’s car without declaring that Daddy is missing. He won’t be this little for long, and it won’t be long before he doesn’t need me for anything. I should cherish these moments and yadda yadda yadda.

At the same time, his stalling at bedtime stresses me out so much. I don’t enjoy bedtime cuddles because I’m stressing out about #GTFTS and all that. Except that cuddle time is not for me, so maybe I should get over myself? Gah, I don’t know. When he finally stopped stalling after my mean mom voice, I felt guilty. I still sat here and finished what I was doing though, AND THEN wrote a blog post about it, so maybe I’m just kind of an asshole.

The bedtime struggle is real. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to hopefully go snuggle my son, who hopefully chose to sleep/wait for me in my bed, and not abandon all hope of love from his mother by sleeping in his own bed…

What We’re Currently up To: Week 41

The past couple of weeks, we’ve been…

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I’ve been needing to get out of the house and do something fun! Between The Munchkin’s therapy schedule, and The Bean’s nap time, I pretty much spend all day, every day in the house. It’s maddening sometimes. Every so often, I feel like I’m going to pop and need to get out of the house. I’ll go thrifting or something, but I need some social outings too. Somebody hook me up with a babysitter, STAT! My FRG had a meeting a couple of days ago, and I actually attended it. I’ve been ignoring them for a while, just because life was busy enough as it was. It was held at a park, so the boys got to play while I hung out with other ladies whose husbands are in John’s unit. It was very nice, and I’m looking forward to being an active volunteer again. We’re making apple pies or something on Monday…assuming I can find a sitter, that is.

Missing John, obviously, but also the grandmas and grandpa. I’m sure the boys wish everyone could be around all the time, and I’m sure everyone feels the same. Living so far away from our families can be really hard some times.

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Reading a daily sheet that The Munchkin brings home from school every day. It’s really cute, and it’s the first time he’s ever been able to “tell me” what he did at school that day. The sheet has a bunch of different pictures depicting things he could have done that day, and the teacher circles the ones that he did. There is also an area for how he was feeling, and if he had a special job that day. She also writes down what he ate at lunch and snack, but since he can’t read, he can’t tell me about that. BUT it’s still cool, because we sit down, and he says “I had fun at school. I had fun playing blocks, and I had fun playing playground, and I did lights on/off! I was HAPPY!” and that is seriously just the best thing. You have no idea.

Hoping that I can schedule all appointments on afternoons from here on out. The Munchkin leaves for school just before lunch, and doesn’t have school on Fridays, so I’m free from 12:30 on. The Munchkin needs a physical for school, and I feel like The Bean has a well…toddler? checkup coming up, and I’m due for a “well-woman” checkup, I might have an hearing aid appointment soon, and seriously if I can’t make these appointments for the afternoon, I don’t know what I’m going to do. OH CRAP WAIT. I’d have to keep The Bean up from his nap to attend any afternoon appointments. UGH. I guess The Bean will just have to suck it up. We don’t have appointments that often anyway… The Munchkin and I aren’t due back at the dentist until next year.

(Dentist side note: Good looking teeth for The Munchkin and myself and zero cavities! The Munchkin did great at his second appointment, and was only a little wiggly. My mom asked if we went to a special dentist who had experience dealing with special needs kids, and NOPE! These people don’t even know about his diagnosis. Go little man, go!)

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Playing outside whenever we can. We took a couple of trips to Manhattan so the boys could play in the splash park and playground out there, but mostly we’ve been playing in our own yard, or with the boys next door. There were a few days where it was too hot to go outside, and a couple that were rainy, but for the most part, the weather has been pretty nice!

When we are stuck inside though, sword fights are a pretty popular choice. The Bean is so funny: He swings his sword about three times, and then falls down, even if he wasn’t it. It’s like he thinks those are the rules. Tonight they were on fire though; both coming at me. I don’t know how people who had to fight with swords for real did it! I totally lost all my limbs and died a million deaths.

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Pictures: The boys in the bottom bunk | The Munchkin at the dentist |  Playing in the backyard
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